So i've had a few extra minutes to blog more lately, and its good because i enjoy sharing ideas; with you.
I came across this song; as i've had time to watch the tele now a bit since being stateside. I was watching the Jump Start on VH1.....and for those of you who are deep music lovers; i had one of those moments of true connection to the music; to the lyrics; to the video; it all reflected things in my life as well now. It's an exceptional song that has an amazing ambience to it. It's nice to come across different ambiences to songs. i love ambience.......
so enjoy the lyrics and check out the artist if you haven't already; definitely check out the song. its worth a listen; and the video is very relaxed and fits nice with it all in this natural blend. the gurl in the video is also naturally refreshing with her beauty. (gotta give props to naturalness now adays.)
Artist: Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova
"falling slowly"
I don't know you,
But I want you, All the more for that.
Words fall through me
And always fool me
And I can't react.
And games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out
Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice, You've made it now
Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won
Take this sinking boat and and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now
Falling slowly sing your melody
I'll sing along
Friday, February 08, 2008
Thursday, February 07, 2008
the bruising of life will soon fade....
lately i've been thinking about this concept of bruising....here me out. i'll try to explain my thoughts that i haven't really processed completely!
so you get a bruise. for me, i sometimes get one if i simply have someone touch me too hard, or merely rub up against something. some of us bruise more easily than others. i'm also talking about emotional bruising.
so the bruise turns green for some, if your lucky. if you've really managed to get wounded a bit then it turns purple---and if you have managed to encounter something that has struck you intensely---your bruise will be black as we all know. and with that,comes swelling of course--more swelling depending on the colour of the bruise. the darker the colour--the worse off you are with swelling.
so what does this all mean? i guess i just found it neat to start, that the more intense we are bruised---the more deep and dark the colour is. it can almost seem as if the colour will never fade(for those of you who have seen someone with severe bruising; someone who was beaten up by their partner, someone who had a freak horrible accident, etc.) black is a pretty depressing state of mind to be living in; as the colour itself is something i like to wear (can't go wrong with skinny black trousers/jeans). since i believe strongly that God has made analogies in life with many things; since i believe Him to be the creator of life and all that is here; its wonderful to extract little nooks and bobs from different concepts and things that are in the world, and to think how cool God is for making them connect to one's soul.
hang with me...
so the darker the bruise; the more swelling there is. its almost like the darker the pain; the more it hurts. the more it stays with us. darker bruising always takes longer to heal, but it does. so, think of it in the deepest emotional level.....bruising on the inside of ourselves is intensely swelled for many of us. its black in there. its quite ugly and it seems to not heal. it seems to only flare up and get worse. sure, sometimes, its alright. we'll kid ourselves some days, depending on our feelings, and say that we're doing fine. but in the inside, when we're stripped of all that means anything to us, i'd say MANY of us are still bruised. i'm not just talking yellowish/green bruising either, though i'm sure we all carry some of that in our hearts. but MANY of us i would say have the purple/black bruising, which leads us to be swelled and uncomfortable in life. uncomfortable interacting; as we're desperate everyday to heal ourselves; while at the same time; doing it in the complete wrong ways (see my previous post). we'll fill ourselves with what we think will heal us.
again, i'm reminded often that when i think i have everything under control; when i think i've managed to sort myself out; and then when it all comes crashing down; i've learned that Jesus is the only one; being God in human flesh; who can truly heal us of our deepest wounds. i need to remember always; as i fail often; to go to Him; and i can truly say, that i have found peace that passes my understanding when i have done this. it may not come right away; but it does come as we are searching and longing to have God set us free from our past hurts/mistakes/ disappointments, etc. we all have bruising; God can begin to make that black turn to yellow.......
so you get a bruise. for me, i sometimes get one if i simply have someone touch me too hard, or merely rub up against something. some of us bruise more easily than others. i'm also talking about emotional bruising.
so the bruise turns green for some, if your lucky. if you've really managed to get wounded a bit then it turns purple---and if you have managed to encounter something that has struck you intensely---your bruise will be black as we all know. and with that,comes swelling of course--more swelling depending on the colour of the bruise. the darker the colour--the worse off you are with swelling.
so what does this all mean? i guess i just found it neat to start, that the more intense we are bruised---the more deep and dark the colour is. it can almost seem as if the colour will never fade(for those of you who have seen someone with severe bruising; someone who was beaten up by their partner, someone who had a freak horrible accident, etc.) black is a pretty depressing state of mind to be living in; as the colour itself is something i like to wear (can't go wrong with skinny black trousers/jeans). since i believe strongly that God has made analogies in life with many things; since i believe Him to be the creator of life and all that is here; its wonderful to extract little nooks and bobs from different concepts and things that are in the world, and to think how cool God is for making them connect to one's soul.
hang with me...
so the darker the bruise; the more swelling there is. its almost like the darker the pain; the more it hurts. the more it stays with us. darker bruising always takes longer to heal, but it does. so, think of it in the deepest emotional level.....bruising on the inside of ourselves is intensely swelled for many of us. its black in there. its quite ugly and it seems to not heal. it seems to only flare up and get worse. sure, sometimes, its alright. we'll kid ourselves some days, depending on our feelings, and say that we're doing fine. but in the inside, when we're stripped of all that means anything to us, i'd say MANY of us are still bruised. i'm not just talking yellowish/green bruising either, though i'm sure we all carry some of that in our hearts. but MANY of us i would say have the purple/black bruising, which leads us to be swelled and uncomfortable in life. uncomfortable interacting; as we're desperate everyday to heal ourselves; while at the same time; doing it in the complete wrong ways (see my previous post). we'll fill ourselves with what we think will heal us.
again, i'm reminded often that when i think i have everything under control; when i think i've managed to sort myself out; and then when it all comes crashing down; i've learned that Jesus is the only one; being God in human flesh; who can truly heal us of our deepest wounds. i need to remember always; as i fail often; to go to Him; and i can truly say, that i have found peace that passes my understanding when i have done this. it may not come right away; but it does come as we are searching and longing to have God set us free from our past hurts/mistakes/ disappointments, etc. we all have bruising; God can begin to make that black turn to yellow.......
Sunday, February 03, 2008
transitions of fear and obscurity
hello lovelies;
its been amazing to me to know how fear grips me. i'm continuously fighting to be ungripped yet recognising at times that the grip is stronger than ever.
its in that grip that we begin to humanly think that we can ungrip it ourselves; the grip that fear has on us that is. so we try. we find a boy/girl that we like and we may start there. we find a job that we like; and it becomes us. we find betsey johnson or reiss(two of my fav stores) and we begin to spend. we begin to fill ourselves with whatever it is we think will numb the pain; and at the same time; will make us feel our worth, as we don't recognise our worth to the degree we need to. so other things; other people; other circumstances will dictate that for us. i've seen this many times. and i continue to see it in my life.
so what happens when the relationship ends; when the clothes are no fun anymore; when that lovely job lets us down; when whatever it is ends for us in our minds. i suppose many of us have a little cry; and then we start again; by filling ourselves with the same things; or if we are a bit more skeptical, we go for something a bit different at first.
i long to be free of these things as they are utter dependencies that we have created as humans. in being a christian; a follower of jesus; i get painted sometimes with the wrong brush; with the brush of other christians that say "just give it to God, and you can stop it". well, you see; i believe whole heartedly that jesus did say "cast all your burdens on Me". yis, He did say that. how lovely a thought. but jesus also stated that we will have trials, we will not be perfect in this lifetime; so its accepting our shortcomings, but not simply believing things cannot get a bit better despite them. and in some areas--yis, God does and will free us from them. its about really praying and asking God to see things that we don't see; to see beyong this day; this minute; this year; this circumstance we are in; and see that really; this life is unfufilling unless we have a purpose; unless we know that God is directing our steps.
i'm thankful and feel clearly that even when i question the direction of where God is leading me; in prayer i realise that He is. Take time today, and I'm speaking to myself, to really thank God, and also to really go to Him with all the crap you've been going through; and let Him place His love for you in your heart; that you may feel self worth. In doing so, the strivings for things that we so often think are worthwhile, will seem to be so insignificant and petty.
thank you lord for your direction and guiding hand in my life. i'm wanting to serve you more in this life; this starts by loving you and loving others. NOT condemning others or judging them. i think of "christians" who will speak about sin more than love; hate for homosexuals; hate for muslims; hate for those who have sex; can i just say.........you are never going to get anywhere with anyone; unless you start with LOVING them. Jesus didn't condemn the woman who was a prostitute. He said noone can condemn her or throw a rock at her, unless tehy have no sin. Jesus then welcomed her himself, and CARED for her; LOVED her. It's about recognising where people are coming from; not just talking all about how someone who's a christian is doing this, or someone who's not a christian is acting all wrong. for in that; we are losing the love we need for others. i'm speaking to myself as well at times, as gossipping is something that seems to come quite natural to many. in the end however, its so unfufilling and lifeless.
lets search for life; lets find God; and in doing so; we will find an unabounding spring of love for humanity......
its been amazing to me to know how fear grips me. i'm continuously fighting to be ungripped yet recognising at times that the grip is stronger than ever.
its in that grip that we begin to humanly think that we can ungrip it ourselves; the grip that fear has on us that is. so we try. we find a boy/girl that we like and we may start there. we find a job that we like; and it becomes us. we find betsey johnson or reiss(two of my fav stores) and we begin to spend. we begin to fill ourselves with whatever it is we think will numb the pain; and at the same time; will make us feel our worth, as we don't recognise our worth to the degree we need to. so other things; other people; other circumstances will dictate that for us. i've seen this many times. and i continue to see it in my life.
so what happens when the relationship ends; when the clothes are no fun anymore; when that lovely job lets us down; when whatever it is ends for us in our minds. i suppose many of us have a little cry; and then we start again; by filling ourselves with the same things; or if we are a bit more skeptical, we go for something a bit different at first.
i long to be free of these things as they are utter dependencies that we have created as humans. in being a christian; a follower of jesus; i get painted sometimes with the wrong brush; with the brush of other christians that say "just give it to God, and you can stop it". well, you see; i believe whole heartedly that jesus did say "cast all your burdens on Me". yis, He did say that. how lovely a thought. but jesus also stated that we will have trials, we will not be perfect in this lifetime; so its accepting our shortcomings, but not simply believing things cannot get a bit better despite them. and in some areas--yis, God does and will free us from them. its about really praying and asking God to see things that we don't see; to see beyong this day; this minute; this year; this circumstance we are in; and see that really; this life is unfufilling unless we have a purpose; unless we know that God is directing our steps.
i'm thankful and feel clearly that even when i question the direction of where God is leading me; in prayer i realise that He is. Take time today, and I'm speaking to myself, to really thank God, and also to really go to Him with all the crap you've been going through; and let Him place His love for you in your heart; that you may feel self worth. In doing so, the strivings for things that we so often think are worthwhile, will seem to be so insignificant and petty.
thank you lord for your direction and guiding hand in my life. i'm wanting to serve you more in this life; this starts by loving you and loving others. NOT condemning others or judging them. i think of "christians" who will speak about sin more than love; hate for homosexuals; hate for muslims; hate for those who have sex; can i just say.........you are never going to get anywhere with anyone; unless you start with LOVING them. Jesus didn't condemn the woman who was a prostitute. He said noone can condemn her or throw a rock at her, unless tehy have no sin. Jesus then welcomed her himself, and CARED for her; LOVED her. It's about recognising where people are coming from; not just talking all about how someone who's a christian is doing this, or someone who's not a christian is acting all wrong. for in that; we are losing the love we need for others. i'm speaking to myself as well at times, as gossipping is something that seems to come quite natural to many. in the end however, its so unfufilling and lifeless.
lets search for life; lets find God; and in doing so; we will find an unabounding spring of love for humanity......
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