bad day.......yet, intriguing movie.

so..........its not that today was "bad". its just one of those days with ugly feelings attached. the weather, i worked...it was kinda "blah" at work, my mood is 'eh', and then i get an email from one of the individuals who is helping me to set up interviews in england. and shes telling me i may want to move out of london....and interview, that this is probably a good option. well, i guess i'm just fighting my own desires about that one. i mean, in the end, if its not meant to be, .....ya. i'll be praying tonight and seeking God about this. i've just had my heart set on living IN london. but, i know, this may not be the option God wants for me. and, of course I want what God wants, because that's what is best in the end.

the real reason i felt inspired to write something new in this here blog(which is my only connection now to the online world, i.e. i no longer have facebook account!)......is that i was watching 20/20 tonite, (yes, i watch that!), and i was completely fascinated and intrigued by a new documentary that is about to come out next friday i believe. it is called "the bridge", and will only be played at select locations, which probably means the south campus dipson theatre only. anyways........its about the suicides that take place every year at the san francisco golden gate bridge. every year, due to the easy accessibility, as one factor, individuals see this as an easy way out, since they will die most likely in 4 seconds. i say most likely because, there are FEW that survive, and it depends on the way they hit the water mostly....if they go head first they will die for sure, but if perhaps they land with their feet, and are vertical,......well, then they MAY have a chance.....may. i'm not a good storyteller. let me continue. this film, again, "the bridge" is VERY controversial. in the yaer 2004, from january 2004-dec 2004, cameras were rollling non-stop. however, the police, authorities in the area, etc were not notified that the cameras were filming for a documentary film. the reason for this being that if others knew this was taking place, it could create an atmosphere of increased suicides...which makes complete sense to me. the creator behind the film, eric steel, seems very intellectual, and is seeking to bring a new discussion of suicide to the table, as well as to emphasize, in a raw, and honest way, that something needs to be done to secure this bridge more so that people are unable to commit suicide. during the year 2004, he captured 23 of the 24 suicides. this film is very controversial, and has received a lot of negative press.

yes, this documentary shows them as well, but it also shows six of the families, and interviews them, often as a way to understand why these suicides may have happened. its absolutely chilling to me. tonite, they showed clips and some of the stories of those that committed suicide. they were so casual. so nonchalent from a distance,.....all different ages, looks, etc....

the camera crew however were first humanitarians......and second, camera operators....they would call the bridge security if they saw anyone who looked as though they were going to commit suicide. they notified them right away. bridge security are on bikes, so that they will be able to reach an individual faster as well, just to note. they were able to save 6 lives during the course of the year. again, 23 unfortunately were captured jumping.

hearing some of the stories already behind the jumps is remarkable. words fall short in this post, unfortunately, because the images that were seen had a million different ideas to me behind it.......to see a man who was pacing back and forth, with long hair.......casually observing the view, as most tourists do, and then after a long period of time, just standing up and falling backwards into death....................(no words)


these are the people i want to help. these are the ones that we are called to reach out to. i am excited to see this documentary, not just because i think its interesting, but because i long to help and understand those who are at extreme despair. i desire to guide them to light.......even if just to see the possibility that light does exist amidst so much darkness. this sounds corny...............but again, words are falling short i suppose.

i will end by encouraging y'all to see this documentary. (which will be at the south campus theatre i'm assuming by next friday) and to say that sometimes the thing that was intended to connect( the san francisco golden gate bridge), does the exact opposite......